Not good enough

If I say Day[9] to you, and you return the blank stare typical of most people, then I won't be surprised.  Well, if you think you can stare at me through your monitor then I am a little surprised.

Shocking oddities aside, I am currently enjoying the game of StarCraft2, and I also find pleasure in some of the gaming commentary and coaching that can be found on YouTube.  If this is too nerdy for you, feel free to skip the next paragraph.

In StarCraft I usually played Protoss, but in StarCraft2 I've been playing almost exclusively Terran.  I'm not good, I'm a mid level bronze player, but I thought I'd try something a little different today and play a game as Zerg since I've seen lots of cool Zerg games on the aforementioned YouTube channels.  I was doing okay until about mid-game, when the medium level Protoss A.I. just walked all over me.  My macro was abysmal, and I clearly don't know the ins and outs of that race.  There was a lot of stuff going on, and my one-track brain was clearly overwhelmed.

The pleasure of spectating  will bring me to the point of wanting to try something for myself.  I find that I am typically competent enough to get by at first, but (as in the example above) I get to a point where my performance falls short of my expectations and I am left feeling defeated by yet another challenge.  This is the fork in the road for me.

Do I back out?  Or do I invest myself in an attempt to improve?  I hate the feeling of being beaten, so if whatever I'm trying out is enjoyable, then I will often pursue overcoming the obstacle that's holding me back.  This is of course cyclical because there is always another obstacle waiting around the corner requiring more focus and commitment to overcome.  I'm usually okay with this, I simply apply the same solution and carry on.

At some point I inevitably reach a point where this is no longer effective.  This has happened over and over again; playing guitar, mountain biking, soccer, video games, et cetera.  The limitation is inevitably me, I'm simply incapable of going any further down the chosen path.  For me, that's worse than that initial feeling of being beaten, it's utter defeat and it's depressing.  I don't feel like listing specific examples, suffice to say that I would like it a lot if there was something I enjoyed doing that I was more than good at.  Is that something writing?  I don't know, I guess time will tell.